dabba-the tiffin carrier

Carrying a tiffin box to office, that too a three tier tiffin carrier, after 12 years seemed very strange to me. Obviously I would have continued consuming yawn evoking food served at office but for the right wrist fracture. The very sight of a stainless-steel tiffin carrier conjures in mind a different time period and thus, the aversion of carrying it; the outer plastic dabba for insulation purpose is a saving feature. The habit of carrying tiffin ceased when i entered college; I vehemently and successfully resisted my mom's idea of continuing with my old oval stainless-steel school tiffin box. The oval tiffin box was my sole faithful companion to school right till my 12th; curd-rice with lemon pickle or roti with tomato onion sabji were my favorites.

Another dabba which I stumbled upon was that of Stanley's; an amazing film on child labor by amol gupte. The plot revolves around stanley who does not gets his dabba and khadus-the hindi teacher (played by amol gupte) who also does not carry his dabba but feasts on students dabbas. The dabba, metaphorically also appeared to me as referring to stanley's fertile tales about his mother (when he pens an essay on his mother, the way his mother prepares his dabba). A must-watch film - would compel the viwers to jog their memory to school days, having lunch in-beetween periods, teachers-good & bad etc.

Here comes Monday…followed by…

One sentiment which I share with Pakkada of pasanga fame is looking up the calender for holidays and now the list of holidays circulated by the HR. Life was not all about commuting to Gurgaon daily…school, college and advocacy was all punctuated with regular dosage of holidays. These holidays have dried up, no point in looking the holiday list; the last one was in April and the next one is in August. Life is fixated on reaching the Friday evening so as to enjoy Saturday and Sunday. But as Saturday dawns, the feeling of coming Monday sinks in and the weekend goes in brooding and mulling how to sail through mon-fri…I would not call it sailing through…it is akin to a test-match innings…play it innings by innings…pre-lunch and post lunch session. The sole aim, suddenly has become to arrive at Friday evening!

"The calender is an indispensable requisite of modern civilized life." - Meghnad Saha

krishna, narmada & tunnel

Train journey always excites me and brings out the kid in me; the green fields, rivers, hillocks, small stations to big junctions, red and black soils, the chambal ghatti, the music train produces....the route of tamilnadu express always fascinated me so much so i remained awake to see river krishna around 1am after vijayawada. The narmada river just before bhopal and the tunnel section between bhopal-itarsi happen to be my favorites. Over the years we adopted the bangalore route for to & fro and literally gave up the tamilnadu line. It was almost after a decade that i was back on the line but this time on different train and time setting; however the madurai sampark kranti just got delayed to enable me to cover the river krishna, river narmada and tunnel section; this time i felt that forest in the tunnel section had dwindled and was not spectacular as it used to be - the awe perhaps has diminished little bit (grown-up effect).

Dear Grandma

Na jaayate mriyate vaavipascit
Naayam kutascin-na babhuuva kascit
Ajo nityah saasvato yam puraano
Na hanyate hanyamaane sarire

The intelligent aatman is not born, nor does He die.
He did not spring from anything and nothing sprang from him.
This unborn, eternal, evelasting, ancient is
Not slain even when the body is destroyed.
- Kathopanisad

As I write this, far away in trichy, the mortal body of my beloved maternal grandma shall be consigned to agni, the agni devouring the flesh and the bones. She is very close to my heart; death may take away the frail body but not sweet memories etched in my heart. I’ve all through, spent my summer vacations with her, listening to her sweet voice narrating stories after stories about her tryst with peoples and lord murugan. Certainly, being the first grandson, I was her pet; with all fondness she would over-serve me (rather all, even strangers too). Her food serving style was testimony to her magnanimous heart; even in this June she distributed all the marriage sweets to all the visitors. I would keenly await the arrival of her magic vibhuti for my exams and credit for passing all the exams goes to her and my mom’s prayers. It was she who taught me sandhyvandaman mantras and it is because of her initiation, I still perform my morning duty.

Her life was marked by ‘sacrifices’ – for supporting and raising grandpa’s siblings, marrying them off, raising her own kids, borrowing and repaying the debts. It is indeed remarkable how she single-handedly managed her finances and savings and took care of her daughters after the death of my grandpa; perhaps a trait (the fighting spirit) common to that generation.

She also had some frailties; long hours of looking into horoscopes (all for free), food habits and lack of regular walking were prime ones which resulted in slow heart pumping. It was in the month of December 2005, she suffered her major attack but she hung on, hung on to see the death of her 3rd grandchild and my marriage. Just a month ago she emerged victoriously from the ventilator but complications compiled. Yesterday, she was at the nursing home narrating to the doctor her problems and suddenly, without any sign, life ebbed away in a span of five to ten minutes. Death was an unexpected visitor! Perhaps, persons of her rasi/lagnam bid farewell suddenly.

This june I prostrated before her with fond hopes of meeting again in November. But fate had other plans. This morning the vaadhiyar, as usual arrived late and over phone I heard the chants and final procedure being executed and finally the wails when the body was lifted. I cannot comment on the desirability of such procedures.

I only hope the aatma continues to shower blessings. I have some bookish knowledge which has taught me to distinguish the bodiless soul from the perishable body and thus, not to grieve. Tears do emerge on the thought of having separated permanently. But I have sweet memories to cherish which death cannot take away…of course…I wait on.

Daughter & father-Bond between

This has been the month of re-runs; had repeat watch of pasanga, tamil padam and abhium naanum. The last mentioned tamil film touches the bond shared between a father played by prakash raj and his daughter played by trisha. The film is simple in plot but portrays the emotions beautifully; an affectionate father (would seem over affectionate) a confident daughter who chooses her life partner on her own, marraige and eventually moving away from her father's place. This scenario is not out of place in normal indian households (of course there exists option between love and arranged marriage). This is prakash raj's second film as a possessive father (santosh subramanyam) and I have become his fan since gilli, mozhi, velli theeray etc.

The relationship between daugher and her father may be taken as granted but given the concept of settling at husband's place, the wedding day shatters the grantedness. More painful is the day when girl's parents bid her adieu at the railway platform/airport/bus-stand after leaving her at her hubby's place. And this I realised when I came to know about my fil crying after boarding the train and my wife crying for an hour later at zero hours. Again after three months, while watching this movie, tears trickled from my wife's eyes and by the time we finished teh film and went to our room, tears flowed like a river. And the unspoken and unsaid bond and affection between a father and his girl dawned on me. Given the fabric of indian household, the girls slowly move away from fathers (usually reciprocated) but affection remains and deepens.

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.” - Joseph Addison

Road to commonwealth-II

In order to project dilli as a world class city to the games tourist and ensure faster transportation,apart from the road beautification and landscaping scams, a thick yellow line is being drawn on the roads, earmarking that wide lane only for the commonwealth vehicles. Further, it is being mooted to impose Rs. 2000/- on the common man vehicle whcih infiltrates that games lane. As it is, under the garb of arranging the games, crores of public money has gone into drain and now a direct penalty is sought to be imposed on the common man.

Apparently, the central government has pitched in and a review committee has been formed to look into the scams and pace. However, it has been decided not to punish the scamsters and it has been promised that after the conclusion of the games, a full scale probe shall be undertaken and that punishment shall be severe and exemplary. Two months time affords enough time to arrive at peaceful division of the booty; few heads would roll as token measure and self-praise of the games will roll out. Public memory is too short and by the end of the games, everything shall be rolled under the carpet.

Road to Commonwealth-I

Just returned from troubled waters and dilli’s woeful roads; as a dilliwallah I often boast about wide and superb roads in dilli but deep down I know that these maze of roads linked politicians office and home and other power brokers. Roads elsewhere and everywhere are distant cousins of rich-roads and a repeat source of wealth and employment for these roads are repeatedly raped by different civic agencies and contractors; frequent digging and covering up never ceases to amaze me. Come rainy season, traffic comes to a standstill and in many pockets cars and buses float and then starts shifting of blame between civic agencies. The commonwealth project has added more spice to dilli roads; dilliwallas are enjoying deadly mocktail of rain water invading construction work and materials (malbaa). Come October, more traffic restrictions shall follow with blocking up of major roads in order to ensure smooth passage for dignitaries, sportsmen and politicians of course. All this to showcase beautiful dilli and improve tourism. Or all this to swallow the common wealth of we the people? Newspapers are having a gala time in reporting various scams and I am somehow aligned with mani shankar iyer’s wish of rains spoiling the great commonwealth circus. Certainly, dilli’s bid for 2019 asiad stands thwarted – silver lining behind dark clouds. However, order of apex court gagging newspapers from reporting on ensuing investigation in re: ‘scams’ is a retro step and has the effect of validating a legislation conferring immunity on these scams. The public has all the rights to be informed about the nitty-gritty’s of the scams since it is the public money, which is being frittered and pocketed.